Phase 1: Nutritionist. FAT.

I headed into Pensacola today to see my nutritionist.  He's great.  I felt comfortable with him right away, and he didn't bullshit me.  Two wins.  It also appears that I've been doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing as far as "weight control" goes.  I found it interesting that when I referred to my "fat ass", half the staff looked like they were about to have politically-correct induced heart-attacks.  Obviously, that terminology doesn't bother me.  I've been a big girl (read: FAT) for a huge (pun intended) portion of my life.  This is not an assumption.  This is a fucking FACT.  I am, under most medical terms, obese (read: FAT).  Why is it so odd that someone should have body acceptance and use their own terms of choice to describe this acceptance??  Besides, if some prick should have the stones to tell me that I'm a "lard ass", it's so much easier to just say "Duh!".  Believe it or not, they're so shocked half the time that it shuts them right the hell down.

And so...

There is, indeed, a fat acceptance movement.  For those people who want society to accept them just as they are is an admirable goal.  It's just not for me.  For me, FAT = unhealthy.  And seriously so.  My genetics are shit.  Just ask my primary care doctor who has been trying to medicate me for the last three years.  And it's not like I only see him once a year.  Oh, noes.  I go every three months, like it's my religion.  Bloodwork.  More bloodwork.  Urinalysis.  Food diaries, FitBit data, oh, the list goes on and on.  So for those healthy fat people, keep up the fat acceptance fight.  For me??  I'm not healthy and I want to be.  And that's the end goal.  I don't even give a rat's ass about how small I end up or what size I wear.

It's about living another 40 years while enjoying my life and torturing The Hubs (not really - I think he's far more worried about the bariatric surgery than I am).  And in all fairness, I did feel oddly uncomfortable while in the waiting room... because I was one of the smallest people in there.  I thought that my problems were bad... but there are so many others who are double and even triple my size.  I hope that every single one of them is able to find their happiness and to meet their own personal goals.

So... I have a small list of things that I would like to do once I'm recovered from surgery...

• Ride a bunch of roller coasters.
• Go SCUBA diving.
• Downhill skiing with some old friends.
• Buy a new wardrobe in France while I'm there this summer.
• Learn how to walk in hooker heels (hey, what can I say??)

I'm still working on a bucket list... but I'm trying to ensure that I don't kick the bucket yet.  

10-4 Good Buddies!!  

Gulf J.